Dese da main peeple I talk abot n mah diary. Reed dis an it gonna give u a betta undstanin of Shit.
Gaston Hebert (me)
Dats me. Da Cajun Juggalo Gaston Hebert. I live n trailer n Perry, Louisiana wit mah wife an kid. I steal shit frum mah neighbor, Mr. Gerard. I do all da drugs. I am Catholic, an I don’t know mah daddy. I tink it’s dis man named Ern Boudreaux. I became a Juggalo afta seein dat movie, “Duece Bigalow, Make Juggalo”. I still go 2 Blockbusta.
Dis mah lil cousin T-Russ. He has progeria, an lives n mah shed. He speak n “boops” an “beeps”, but I undastan him. He werks on a potato farm, an eats wit his hands.
Dats Mr. Gerard. He is mah neighbor an sells shrimp on da side of da road. Most of his cums frum disability frum a bogus injury he got offshore so I don’t feel bad stealin frum him. He is afraid of mah Taunt Geraldine.
Dis mah Taunt Geraldine. She lives n da ditch, an fuks turtles among udda animals . She gotta crush on Mr. Gerard. Da tootie on her forehead is 4 deep sea fishing. She gives me gud advice weneva I’m arond a ditch.
Dats mah fat gross wife Priscilla. She’s frum Kaplan an drives da bus. She cooks gud, an eats babies. Sumtimes she sits n da mud. She knows wut 2 say 2 make me feel betta. She da best woman.
Dis mah 3rd son T-T-Claude. He’s a warlord frum da Philippines. He take care of himself. I don’t know wut happened 2 mah otha sons.