T-T-Claude’s Baptism

Deer Diary,

We baptized T-T-Claude 2day. Da preest wuz Filapino so I hope dat God undastood him wen he poured Faygo on T-T-Claude’s head. While im da happy dat T-T-Claude will geaux 2 heavin once he ovadoses on synthetic marijuana like his ancestors have done b4 him, I am sad dat he will neva git 2 meat Paul Prudome who is cookin up sum mean stews n Hell.

Me an T-T-Claude wit Father GHOST n front of Church.

T-Russ mad at me cuz I didnt make him T-T-Claude’s Parrain. He can “Boop” and “Beep” at me all he want. He alredy mah pet nutria rat John McCain Hebert’s Parrain. An he not even a gud Parrain 2 John MCain. Every birtday John McCain has T-Russ buy him da finga puppet book an every yeer John McCain bites mah fingas wen I pretend 2 reed it 2 him.

I spray paint John McCain Hebert LSU colors cuz im tryin 2 sell him 2 dat gas stashun n Grosse Tete. He likes da way he luks.

I am happy dat Terry is T-T-Claude’s Parrain. He seem like he will make T-T-Claude live da Catholic life juss n case I die b4 T-T-Claude reaches da age dat he can attend ICP concerts witout parental guydance. I knew Terry wuz a gud choice wen he was n mah trunk an didnt cumplain abot mah George Straight cassette bein 2 loud. Im still not sure where 2 drop him off at.

I saw Terry lukin at da expensive Dr Pepper so I asked him if he culd cum luk at mah go kart wheel to see if it wuz round enuf. As he approached mah car trunk I sed “da rougarous out! Git n da trunk!” He turned at me an luked at me stupid so I hit him wit mah steel toed boot.

It a gud ting T-T-Claude got a gud Parrain cuz his Nanny frys chicken tenders at da Doller Tree. Priscilla’s sista won da nanny raffle at da Duck Foot Festival so we had 2 make her Nanny. Not honoring a raffle is 25 yeers 2 life n Vermilion Parish so we had 2. T-T-Claude juss betta have da chicken tender hook up as long as Priscillas sista werks dere. I still dont know her name.

Duck Foot Festival is wen da bess scientists n Vermilion Parish cum togetha 2 guess on y ducks have feet.

All n all it wuz a gud Holy Day. I stole all da wine dat wuz at da Blockbusta Church an T-T-Claude wuz lukin slick n his Stone Cold Steve Austin vest.

N da name of da father, da son, an who is mah daddy. A man?

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