Deer Diary,
T-Russ made up a numba wen we wuz counting da utta day. He sed “eleven”. Bruh. I hope he know im not gonna fall 4 no shit like dat. Eleven not a numba. Eleven is da name of dat lil boy on da new E.T. He sed eleven is wut cum afta 10. Which dat dumb. Cuz everybody kno dat wen u count it’s “9, 10,” you say a “glory be” den “a mystery” den an “our father” den count to 10 agin an repeat until u git 2 da lass numba, “hail holy queen”. I learned how 2 count right using mah Holy Abacus.
T-Russ always tinks he knows his shit. 1 time tried 2 tell me dat Bill Clinton used 2 b President. Mais wut? I sed “t-Russ, juss cuz u play da French Horn on da Magic Johnson show, dat dont meen u President.” He sed “dat wuz da Arsenio Hall show an he played saxophone.” I sed “make up aunuder werd n mah house im feedin u 2 da roosters!” Dat T-Russ musta forgot dat George HW Bush wuz President until he resigned wen his wife hurt her tuh-tut jumping out dat buildin on September 11, 2001. Dats wen he gave his son George W Bush da position.
T-Russ is always actin up cuz I steel his progeria medication 2 take wen I cut flips n da backyard 2 travel thru time. If progeria makes T-Russ age fast den I dont see how it wont make me travel in 2 da future 2 see if dey eva induct Jake Delhomme n2 da pro football hall of fame. It hasnt happined yet an I tink it cuz Im not cuttin flips fast enuf. Next time im n da fun jump ima git mah fat gross wife Pricilla 2 double bounce me so I can see Jake Delhomme finally git wut he deserves.
I tink wut T-Russ problem is is dat he dont have a gross fat wife 2 call his own. An it not dat T-Russ don’t git da women, he ponced 3 lunch ladies at da Indian Bayou Bazaar last yeer. It dat all da women dat n2 him r copper diggers. Dey know dat he dont have long 2 live so dey juss in it 2 inherit his sugar cane field an turn it n2 a haunted trail ride. T-Russ needs a lady dats gonna luv T-Russ 4 T-Russ. Sum1 dat gonna walk on Holly Beach wit him. Sum1 dats gonna catch him wen he climbin out of a vent dat he wuz juss chasin a rat in. Sum1 dat gonna will lissin 2 him Boop and Beep wen he sees his favorite cow. Sum1 dats gonna buckle him n his high chair wen dey eat at Dons Seafood. Sum1 dat gonna change da channel wen Family Guy cum on so he dont try an fight dat baby dat talks. Sum1 dats rite 4 T-Russ.
Anyway I tink I gotta stop gettin mad wen T-Russ does da rong ting. I gotta make sure dat im on his gud side so he put me n his will. Ima dig up da Cajun Chicken an have a Juggalo Gatherin n da field I inherit.
The Cajun Juggalo Diaries 